I was taken aback that a five-year-old would use the phrasing…just the way you are. I was struck by the wisdom of that phrase.  How many of us can say we love ourselves…just the way we are.

I seem to like myself better when I accomplish my daily to-do list, when I exercise, when I eat the right food, and when I got game. I am working on liking myself ‘just the way I am’ when I rest instead of push myself, accept my body when I don’t eat the right foods or exercise, and love me when I don’t have game.

What about you? Are you able to love yourself ‘just the way you are’? It’s difficult because we get programmed at an early age with messages from our parents, teachers and caregivers that go right into our subconscious mind. It is a data bank that contains all the stored information we’ve ever experienced.  We operate from our subconscious mind 95% of the time.

How do we work with the subconscious mind instead of being controlled by messages we didn’t put into the database?

• Eliminate fear and negative self-talk – become aware of statements that are self-defeating, regretful, disappointing…and words like…I can’t, I never, You made me.
• Counter negative self-talk with positive messages…if you hear yourself say…I don’t have a creative bone in my body…counter that with…I am excited to play with acrylic paints.
• When you are drifting off to sleep say positive statements – I am healthy, I am creative, I am relaxed, I am capable, I am trustworthy. Avoid saying, I am going to. You want to affirm…I am.
• Keep a dream journal by your bed and if you remember your dreams, write them down. Google Jungian dreamwork and you can find simple techniques to decode the messages from your subconscious mind.

Why do this work? To calm our punishing mind, to be gentle and kind to our sweet selves, to not beat ourselves up, to free our wildness and our spontaneous, non-judgmental, energetic five-year-old self.

The truth is we all have the boundless creative ability of Becky’s daughter, we just need to claim it. And we have the ability…from this moment on…to love ourselves just the way we are.

Love you a whole bunch,

e’Layne Kelley
artist, author, mind liberator

Gain Distance from Negative Thoughts by Author e’Layne Kelley (elaynekelley.com)